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Life Through the Eyes of our Crew- California to Mexico

Learning and development professionals say that you really know and understand something when you can teach it to others. I was reminded of this when our dear friends Pam and Rick joined us for the trip from San Diego to Mexico. They were both new to sailing, and we wanted them to have an enjoyable experience.

It was both Dave’s and my job to introduce our friends to the world of sailing and all Synchronicity’s ins and outs. I didn’t realize the benefits of teaching our friends the ropes on Synchronicity.

Questioning my knowledge and ability sailing is something I do regularly. I knew I could show our friends some basics. For instance I always feel like I have it together when it comes to provisioning (that’s figuring out what food to buy and prepare for our trip). Yet I think I lack in the sailing category and all things to do with running the boat.

Pam on the 3:00 a.m. night watch
Rick on a day watch

What I learned this leg is that I really do know more about Synchronicity and all her systems, quirks and idiosyncrasies than I give myself credit for. Teaching Rick and Pam how to use the stove and head, what the different boat names are – like the galley for the kitchen (why is that?), sheets not ropes, what to be aware of on the 3 hour watches when underway, anchoring and alot more. It was definitely a boost to my confidence showing our friends what our life was like sailing. My inner saboteurs once again were quieted as I taught our friends each new thing.

Seeing Pam and Rick experience their firsts sailing, reinforced how special this lifestyle is. Sun rises and sun sets reignited my passion for nature’s incredible beauty.

Sunset in San Carlos, Baja, Mexico
Moon rise on passage between Isla Cedros and Magdalena Bay

Watching the antics of pelicans made me laugh. Seeing the stray dogs in the Mexican streets brought back memories from 23 years ago when Jess wanted to bring every stray back to the boat.

Stray pup
Pelicans at Isla Cedros

Through the eyes of our friends we learned the humour of the sailing life. Pam would crawl into the aft cabin remarking the bunk was like a one person sleeping bag for two! She added she felt like she was a butterfly going into its cocoon. After struggling with seasickness in rough conditions Pam remarked, “I left my stomach in San Diego.” Pam added that the best of sailing was hitting 9.2 kts under a full moon with flat seas. And the worst of sailing? Leaving San Diego harbour and feeling like you were being tossed around in a washing machine.

Just before we hit 9.2 kts

Watching Pam and Rick share in experiencing first hand our lifestyle makes me appreciate all over again how fortunate I am to be on this adventure, and how grateful to Dave for being my partner in all of this. Oh ya… and I’ve got this!

Coronado, California
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Chula Vista, California

It’s 24 years later and somehow Dave and I expected things to be the same at Chula Vista Marina. Right? Nope!

Gone is the RV park across from the marina which had our beloved pool and jacuzzi. We were so looking forward to a soak. Offshore sailing does a number on your body. Aches and pains from bracing against the constant movement and wind, with Synchronicity lurching and dancing on top of the waves. The RV park is being replaced by a 1600 room hotel and conference centre. At least Dave can eye up the construction site.

The New Reality

What are you doing all day? This question was posed by several people.

1. Fixing Boat Parts It started with the Windvane that Dave rebuilt prior to us leaving Canada. The Windvane lovingly know as “Windy” steered us many offshore miles when we circumnavigated. She is like the crew member that never tires, doesn’t need breaks and eats nothing – well maybe a little WD40 once in a while! For some unknown reason it didn’t work on the trip here. We decided to buy a new Monitor Windvane. Dave just installed it.

2. Installing New Equipment We ran out of time to finish installing equipment before leaving BC. We both swore when we sailed again we would have a water maker. Now we have one installed. Still to test… excited to have.

3. Boat Maintenance Anyone who owns a boat knows that maintenance takes up a good part of your time. Synchronicity’s motor is located in the galley. Dave had the nasty job of replacing the mounts and aligning the engine.

4. Trying New Recipes I’m in my happy place when I’m baking. We have friends coming who are gluten-free so I tried out a gluten free bread recipe.

Gluten free bread. Heavy but good!

I also did a photograph workshop which was fun.

Now looking forward to Christmas with family. ❤️

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Looking Back to 1995 and Forward to 2022 – San Diego

It was 1995. We had spent 3 years building our sailboat Synchronicity, a Fraser 41, in our backyard. Today she wasbeing delivered by truck to North Vancouver, BC and launched in Mosquito Creek Marina. What a day it was. With the girls tucked away sleeping in the v-berth Dave and I sat looking at each other on the settee. Silently I thought, “What have we done?”

We had sold all our possessions including our house and now moved on a sailboat. With our two young girls, ages 3 and 8.Were we crazy for doing these things? Neither set of our parents ever voiced disapproval (or even approval for that matter), ofour plans to sail the world. Not that we needed approval since we were well into our 30’s. But does seeking approval from our elders ever go away? Looking back, we decided to accept their quietness as approval for our own sakes. 

Jessica, Dave and Leah

Fast forward to 1998. We had lived aboard in North Vancouver through three dark, wet winters, and it was finally time to wavegoodbye to our friends and family. The emotions I had were mixed excitement with fear and anxiety, not knowing what it would be like to sail offshore. 

We decided to do a straight shot to San Diego. We received a decent forecast and went for it. My confidence built as I took my turn on watches with Dave. By the time we arrived in San Diego, 9 days out from Vancouver, I was elated. I had managed my seasickness and been a part of our first sailing voyage from Vancouver to San Diego. San Diego was just the first of many passages that took us all around the world. Four years later we returned to Vancouver, sailing under Lion’s Gate Bridge feeling elated that we had circumnavigated the globe, and curious to see what would be next for our family. 

Time hop once more with me. It’s now 24 years later, and here we are setting sail once again. This time it’s just Dave and I. Our daughters are both married and have their own lives. Leah, age 35, has her own sailboat (1’ bigger than her parents’, she’ll proudly tell you) and is raising our grandson with her husband aboard. Jess has a thriving baking business and just got married. This time Dave and I will be doing this trip without them, taking family and friends as crew from time to time. 

People ask how it will be different. I ask myself that question too. At age 61, I feel less confident to sail on a big adventurethan I did 24 years ago. Even after 37,000 nautical miles and a lifetime of cruising memories, I struggle with my inner critics. As a life/career coach, I know them only too well. My inner critics have been screaming into my ears: I’m not fit enough, I don’t know how to sail, I’m not strong enough, What if I mess up? What if I can’t do this? But then I think, “Dave is depending on me” and work on hushing those inner voices. 

As we neared our jump off date in early September, my anxiety was over the top. My cousin Val was coming with us on the first leg to San Diego. She was excited…and I just felt dread. I woke up most nights with heightened anxiety. My brain felt scrambled. Wondering… can I do this? What will it be like without our girls beside us all the way? Am I up for it? Can I REALLY do this again? Am I too old? 

I sought the advice of my friend and personal coach, Pam. She sent me texts saying, “You’ve got this.” Searching for the confidence, I kept wondering why is it as we get older that we lose our confidence? Does everyone go through this? Daughter Leah helped me get in touch with what I liked about cruising – the people, dolphins, sunsets, stars and visiting new places and cultures. I weakly held onto those thoughts. 

Our “to do” list was never ending.  Dave was busy with boat projects and retiring from a construction career of over 40 years. With help from Val and another friend, I got the boat provisioned. We had set a date for leaving and it was closing in… Sept 5, 2022

Sept 5th arrived, and we left amidst tearful goodbyes with our girls, their husbands and our grandson, and a few close friends. The first few days we motored and cleared into the US. That was the easy part.

The first night passage was rounding Cape Flattery. Val keptwatch with me. She struggled with seasickness. The motion was all too familiar. Washing-machine like waves coming from all directions hurtled Synchronicity around. We learned later the cross-swells were the remnants of typhoon Merbok. While Val puked, I maintained my 3-hour watches, looking at the amazing starlit night, remembering one of the reasons I really do like sailing. As we started down the Washington coast the swells became a little more regular and my body slowly got used to it. Sturgeron was and still is my best friend at sea. The seasick meds worked. Phew!

Dolphins at Sea – My Favourite

With the weather not improving and the winds increasing, Captain Dave decided we should stop at Gray’s Harbor in Washington, a small fishing port. We spent a few days there waiting for improved weather.

Dave, Mary and Val in Gray’s Harbor, Washington

Back out sailing a few days passed and my anxiety slowly reduced. Then off the coast of Oregon the winds once again built. This time both our autopilot and monitor self-steering system failed. The windvane which Dave rebuilt had too much flex in it and would not steer a course. The new heavy-duty autopilot which had steered us so far started to make screeching and grinding noises until it finally quit working altogether. Of course it was the middle of the night…

If ever there was a time I should fall apart, it was now in the dark of night when I was faced with hand-steering. Our compass light was out as well so we literally had the stars only to guide us. My tears appeared as Dave woke me for my watch and explained the circumstances. “I don’t know if I can do this,” I said to him, knowing there was no choice but to suck it up and take the watch. Val was still struggling with seasickness, so it was up to me. 

Blinking back my tears, I heard the voice of my coach Pam once again, “you’ve got this,” she whispered in my ear. I dug deep that night to steer in winds from 25-30 knots, gusting 35. And then a wonderful thing happened. As the waves crashed and the self-steering sat useless and our crew was immobilized with seasickness and it all started to get really intense, this Grandma’s confidence came back! Not all of it, but enough to hand steer my two night watches, safely guiding Synchronicity and her crew through until Dave took his watch at 6:00 a.m. Enough to know I was going to be ok. “It’s like riding a bike,” I heard in my head. And indeed I felt that I could do this again.

The rest of the trip to San Diego went without too many glitches. We chose to stop in Bodego Bay, the Channel Islands and Catalina. On Sept 29, 24 years later, we landed once again at Chula Vista Marina, just before light gave way to darkness.

Anchored at the Channel Islands, California
Vancouver to San Diego September 2022

A small sense of warmth came over me, a knowing that I can and I will do this. As we prepare for what’s next on our adventure, my inner critic is still there but quieted by a tiny new knowing of what I am capable of.

Feeling Triumphant
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Saying our goodbyes

Our family and crew Val

The hardest part of leaving is saying goodbye- and then getting off the dock. We have done it!

A few stops have worked out some kinks and found a few new ones! Depth sounder is now installed. Wind instrument no longer works! Hopefully that is temporary.

We stopped in Steveston, Point Roberts and Bellingham for checking in, boat parts and fresh produce. The CBP ROAM app was brilliant for checking into the US.

Today we are entering Juan de Fuca. Feeling those familiar swells. My butterflies are turning to excitement and I had my first good night’s sleep in more than a month! Here we go…

Captain Dave
Crew Cousin Val
First Mate Mary
Point Roberts, Washington
Bellingham, Washington night sky

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Sailing

20 years later…

Twenty years ago we were arriving home with our two daughters after circumnavigating the globe on our sailboat Synchronicity. I remember the feeling when we first set sail as a family. Excited, anxious, nervous, curious what life would look like on a boat with our little family. Facing our first passage. We spent 4 wonderful years with our girls visiting 37 countries.

Hanging out in Bora Bora
After our first big passage to Chula Vista/San Diego

Fast forward and now Dave and I are once again setting sailing- this time without our kids. The same feelings are there.., though for me I think there’s more anxiousness and less confidence. Now older I’m not sure what to expect. I’m working hard to bring out the coach in me, practice my Positive Intelligence/Mental Fitness. I’m looking forward to time with Dave, the beauty only the sea can bring, dolphins and sunsets and getting that feeling back that I can and will do this! Today we leave!!

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Sailing

And we’re off!

D-day is fast approaching, and a new prop is the cherry on top!

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Coaching

The Reality of Living During a Pandemic – Will You Survive or Thrive?

-Do you sometimes wake up and think this was all a dream?

-Does life feel surreal right now?

-Is it hard to watch the news – and then hard to turn it off?

-Do you forget what day it is?

-Are you experiencing various emotions (and extremes) from crying to laughing to boredom, to being anxious, and then everything in between?

-Do you have screen burnout?

-Do you miss hugs?

-Did you have to cancel travel plans/weddings/graduation parties or other special events?

If you are anything like me these questions may resonate with you. I have experienced all of these – and sometimes all on the same day!

COVID-19 has yanked our reality away and there is a new reality in place. Personally I’ve experienced tears, disappointment and fear. As well as admiration and gratitude. Admiration for those people who are fighting for us in healthcare, taking care of our aged, researching a cure, courageously putting themselves on the line for our lives. I am grateful for those essential workers keeping our economy going whether through transportation of goods, supply chain, e-commerce or construction. And for the frontline workers in grocery stores, drugstores and home improvement. Not to mention the government and sanitation workers, police, fireman, delivery drivers and mail carriers. You know who you are – and I am so grateful and thankful for your dedication and service to keep Canada going.

We have a choice in how we look at things right now. I recognize for some there is less choice. Again I’m so grateful I have a home, family and my husband is still working. As a coach I am honoured to walk with people in this new reality.

In this time where so much is out of our control it is important to remember what we do have control over, and focus on those things. We can choose how we respond, we can take care of ourselves and we can reach out to those who need a hello or a virtual hug.

I am trying to look for opportunity. Opportunity to reach out to those I love and admire. Opportunity to tell people how much they mean to me. Opportunity to slow down and to really be intentional about what I’m doing each day. Opportunity to connect with those I haven’t spoken to for a while.

When this is all over, what do you want to remember most? I want to remember that I was there for those that needed me. That I was a support for those in need, whether it was a caring word, or a listening ear. That I wasn’t afraid to cry or to say I’m not feeling strong today. To be vulnerable, honest and to be present. To connect with love.

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Coaching

3 Reasons Why the Holidays are a Good Time to Job Search

 

We’re just around the corner from the holidays…. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah, New Years – they are coming.

Many job seekers believe that the holidays are a terrible time to job search. Why? They feel that people are too busy with the festivities or are away on vacation or maybe just checked out with the end of year so near.

I believe the holidays are a perfect time to job search. Here are three reasons why:

1. Fantastic networking opportunities

At this time of year there are year-end, Christmas and other holiday events happening everywhere. If you don’t belong to a networking group now is a great time to join one or attend an event. Don’t know where to start? Try Googling networking events + your location + holidays and see what is available in your area.

A quick Google search in Vancouver showed these finds:

 

Do you belong to an association? This time of year many associations have networking events or socials you might attend. Don’t belong to an association? Short on cash? Often organizations/associations/network groups will allow you to attend as a guest before joining, sometimes for a reduced rate or even for free.

Try volunteering. This time of year there are lots of volunteer opportunities. Give back and watch what comes to you.

Holiday parties are another great place to network – whether they are your company parties (if you are employed) or parties you attend with friends/family.

No matter where you are networking keep the following in mind:

  • Be prepared

It’s good to have a quick blurb/elevator pitch prepared. For example:

I’m a ______________ looking for opportunities in ______________. I’m particularly interested in ________________ or _________________ (companies/organizations). Would you know any places I could look or people I could talk to?

  • Be curious

It’s not all about you. Have a few questions you can ask other people, listen and be genuinely interested and helpful. People like talking about themselves so being curious and asking them questions can lead to great connections down the road.

  • Bring business cards

Make sure you have business cards on hand and don’t just keep them stuffed in your pocket – hand them out. Ask for other people’s cards and remember to follow up with them later.

  • Dress professionally

‘Tis the season to get dressed up to the nines… but, when it comes to professional holiday networking events, you want to keep it tasteful. Avoid denim and too much cologne/perfume.

  • Smile and be positive

Even if you don’t feel like smiling, try it. Bring on the positive energy and watch what happens! People are attracted to positivity.

And now is a great time (and excuse) to wish someone a Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, and reconnect with your past colleagues, friends and contacts.

2. People are in the holiday spirit

There’s something about the holidays that can bring out the best in people. Make those cold calls, be brave and connect. This time of year I’ve found people are more receptive to meeting with you. Now’s the time to schedule those informational interviews.

3. Year-end often means money for hiring new people

Often companies that are nearing year-end have money left in their budgets to spend. What does that mean to a job seeker? You might be able to get your foot in the door on a short contract. Contracts allow you and the employer to see if you are a good fit for the company. It gives you a sense of how the company operates and provides valuable experience.

Companies want to spend their budgets or they may lose this money. Now may be the time they add that new position they have been longing to do.

Employers hire people that approach them at the right time.

Let that be you!

Don’t put you’re your job search on hold just because it is the holiday season. Job search and the spirit of the season…they can go together.  In fact, this may be the BEST time of the year to job search.

Now what strategies will you apply?

 

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Coaching

Back To School Nostalgia!

It’s back to school time and that always makes me a little nostalgic. I always loved getting new notebooks and pens, and a new outfit for school. A fresh start. To me September is still that time. Though I’m no longer in school I still think of September as a New Year – maybe even more than January. It’s the change in seasons that does it for me. With the close of Summer, Fall comes softly in. Mornings are crisp, days are shorter and the leaves start to turn. A new Season makes me reevaluate what I’m doing, how I’m doing it and what is really important in my life. New beginnings. I am more motivated to start new ventures and set new goals. I’m excited to see what’s next.

How can you reevaluate what’s important to you in your life? What might your goals be for this new season?

Ask yourself these questions:

What are my goals for the Fall?
Be honest. Remember these are your goals and they are as individual as you are. It might be change jobs, lose weight, go on a holiday, get married or make more money. It could be to move to a new place, or out of the country. It might be to go traveling.

Taking each goal ask yourself,

Why do I want this goal?
And what does it give me?
And how will achieving this goal leave me feeling?
Then ask why do I want that?

These questions all help you see why you want this goal and why it’s important. Once you understand your motivations behind your goals you are more likely to achieve them.  And post your goals where you can see them daily. Research shows that when you look at your goals daily you are more likely to achieve them.

Sometimes when you want to achieve your goals you need support. Someone who can help you clarify what you really want and then provide accountability and cheer leading to get there. As a coach I can help you work through this process and then define an action plan to achieve your goals. Email me at [email protected] and we can chat.

Here’s to an amazing Autumn!
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Life

Whether You Think You Can, Or You Think You Can’t You are Right!

 

What we believe is the most important thing to move us forward. Our beliefs guide us into thinking what we can do, and what we can’t. And our brain is really what helps us succeed – or not! Ask a marathoner and they are likely to say that yes being physically fit is important but so is their mental state. If they don’t believe they can complete the race, they might as well not even start.

My daughter Jessica is a great example of the “I can” belief. In a life changing accident at 15 that put her in a wheelchair she could have chosen a lot of I can’ts. Instead she chooses “I can” in pretty much everything she does. Her “can’s” have helped her access what can be a very inhospitable world to someone in a chair and she manages it with grace and a good dose of “can do’s”.  If she can’t do something one way she will find another way to do it.

When you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself what is your belief? Do you believe you can? Do you believe there is a way? Or do you believe you can’t. Listen to the words you tell yourself in your head. Is your head full of negatives: I can’t do this; there’s no way; there is nothing that can be done; it’s impossible. Or do you think: I’ll find a way; I can make this happen; I get to do this.

Only you can choose…do you choose I can or I can’t?

 Are you ready to get unstuck?

Contact Mary for a complementary strategy session to see how

coaching can help you achieve this change.

Email: [email protected]